He entered Jericho and was passing through. And behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax collector and was rich. And he was seeking to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was small in stature. So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was about to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today.” So he hurried and came down and received him joyfully.

One of the favorite chapel songs of the preschoolers at Faith is a song that I’ve known since childhood:

Zacchaeus was a wee little man, a wee little man was he. He climbed up in a sycamore tree, for the Lord he wanted to see – and as the Lord came passing by, He looked up in the tree and said ‘Zacchaeus, you come down! For I’m going to your house today!’

I love how Zacchaeus reacts to the presence of the Lord. He wants to see Jesus, and he’s too short to see over the crowds. From the song I have the image of him being extremely short, but let’s be honest, he might have even been of average height. In a big crowd, it’s hard to see without bleachers, isn’t it? So Zacchaeus improvised, climbing up a tree. He might not have been the only one sitting in the branches, but he was the one that Jesus addressed directly.

Jesus doesn’t just talk to this man, who was a tax collector, a sinner (insert collective gasp here)! Nope, He tells Zacchaeus, “I’m coming to your house. Let’s go!” Only the Lord of Life could get away with inviting Himself into someone’s house.

That’s what Jesus does with all of us, isn’t it? He invites Himself into our hearts, into our lives. We can slam the door in His face, push Him out, act like He’s being rude and invasive. We can begrudgingly let Him inside the door while we run around trying to hide all of our flaws from Him (news flash – He already knows them). Or we can joyfully welcome His presence in our lives, treat Him like an honored guest. The one thing we can’t do is go out and get Him. He’s already standing at the door knocking.

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love,
because you have seen my affliction;
you have known the distress of my soul,
and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy;
you have set my feet in a broad place.

It’s been a rough week. Last night I was crying, once again, missing our little girl so much that I couldn’t sleep. And yet my heavenly Father reminds me again of His love for me through these verses. I will rejoice in His steadfast love. He has known my affliction and distress. And I am protected in the midst of it. God has not let me be taken captive by the enemy. There have been times over the past two years where I was so afraid that I would completely lose my mind, falling into some sort of semi-comatose state, or entering into an addiction, or separating entirely from reality. These are the ways the enemy tried to attack me in my weakness and vulnerability. But God in His mercy surrounded me with His angels.

This isn’t one of those stories – I haven’t actually seen an angel, at least not in a way that I knew it implicitly. But there have been moments in the night where God’s protection kept me sane. There have been people in my life who have served in angelic ways. Over and over God has shown me His love, His kindness, His protection. And He keeps guiding my steps on a path that is solid. I need that firm foundation right now, because without it I would stumble. I don’t think I could get back up again.

Some of my human “angels” have been with me for a long time – my husband, my family, my long-time friends. Others are newly part of my life, and I know it’s not coincidence that God brought them when I needed them most. Tonight I get to spend some time in a video conference with a group of them, something we scheduled over a month ago but I need so very much right now, today. That’s not a coincidence either.

Thank you God, for surrounding me with angels and people to keep me steady, and for helping me to keep my eyes on You!

In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”

Today’s verse (Luke 10:21) follows immediately on the heels of last week Wednesday’s reading. In fact, the phrase “In that same hour” refers to the return of Jesus’ 72 followers who were sent out. Here we have the Trinity in one phrase: “he [Jesus] rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, ‘I thank you, Father.‘” And what does Jesus thank the Father for? For revealing so many spiritual truths to children that are hidden from the wise.

We adults like to think we’ve got it all figured out, don’t we? We spend time studying the Scriptures and plucking little grains of wisdom from them, analyzing details that boggle the mind at times. And then a child comes up and says, “Jesus loves you.” At the end of the day, all of the other details don’t matter. Faith like a child? Yes, please! The children at our school spend each day learning about Jesus, and can often share their faith in ways that amaze and humble me. They’ve learned songs and prayers and the Apostles’ Creed and can tell you that Jesus died on the cross and rose again. They get it.

When I teach Sunday School, I discover the same thing. Children hear the Word of God and just accept it at face value, without needing footnotes or studying the original languages and dissecting the meaning from the Word. Yes, those things can be helpful for study, but for faith formation, it’s all about simply hearing the Word, receiving it. God has written us a love letter, and we need to read it as that just as much or more than we read it for information and learning.

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.

I LOVE how the psalmist paints a picture in these two verses. God takes our mourning, and turns it into dancing. I don’t know about you, but to me mourning is a rather stationary activity. You don’t move around when you are mourning, and if you do, it’s S-L-O-W-L-Y. The process is sad. It’s sorrowful.

We had a funeral at our church yesterday, and I don’t think that the family will be dancing anytime soon. Truthfully, I don’t much feel like dancing yet, even though it’s been almost two years since Samantha left us for God’s arms. Praise the Lord that His action isn’t dependent on how we feel. Rather, He takes all of the hurt, all of the suffering, all of the sorrow, and turns it into joy. He removes our sackcloth (traditionally worn by those in deep repentance for major sin) and clothes us in joy! Even when the pain I feel is my own fault, the consequences of my wrongdoing, God’s forgiveness is readily available, and His joy covers me.

My heart can dance even if my body is unable. He has given me moments of unspeakable joy, times when I laughed so hard it hurt. These are gifts of God! He does all of this so that my soul can praise Him. I do thank Him forever. His joy in my heart and His name on my lips are enough.

The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” And he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

These followers are amazed at the abilities that God has placed on them because of Jesus. They are thrilled and excited and filled with joy that they have authority over demons when they use Christ’s name. And Jesus points out that He has placed this authority on them to protect them, but also cautions them about rejoicing and celebrating about this ability. The source of their joy needs to be their membership in the kingdom of heaven, which is the reason they have the ability in the first place.

So often I see churches and believers hyper-focused on spiritual gifts, nearly worshiping certain types of abilities that are granted to them by faith. At times the fever pitch over gifts raises doubts in me as to the authenticity of these gifts. How much is gimmick? I don’t doubt that Christ still bestows all kinds of spiritual gifts on His people today, so please don’t misunderstand me. I doubt the legitimacy of the gifts when I don’t see them being used to point the way to the Giver of all good things.

Spiritual gifts are never intended for our glory, but to glorify the One who gave them. If the whole point is my ability to do something, then it isn’t about Christ’s power resting on me. I pray that I can always point the way to Jesus in my daily walk, and that whatever gifts I am given are used for His glory.

Behold, I will gather them from all the countries to which I drove them in my anger and my wrath and in great indignation. I will bring them back to this place, and I will make them dwell in safety. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:37-41 is a portion of a prophecy of restoration. God makes the promise to bring His people back from where they were scattered, that He will be their God and they will be His people. God wants to do good for them!

God also wants to do good for you and me. Some days it is hard for me to believe that. Not that I believe the opposite – I don’t think God has it in for me! But I spend very little time considering the inherent goodness of God, or how He desires to pour out His blessings on us all.

Part of it is a natural reaction against some of the feel-good theology that circulates, the idea that God blesses those who are good or who love Him properly or who do the right things. Not so! His blessings are wholly unconnected to our deserving of them, because we can’t deserve them. We are all sinful and were it not for the ultimate blessing of God in the death and resurrection of Jesus, we would be without hope.

The key for me is paying attention, so that I see those blessings of God. Does it make a difference? Not in the sense of my relationship with Him. God doesn’t love me more if I notice His goodness, and He doesn’t love me less if I fail. He loves me fully and completely because of His Son.

But it makes a difference to me. Imagine a married woman who never checks her email. Her husband sends her beautiful messages of love every day of their marriage, but she doesn’t see them. She might start doubting how he feels about her, even though he is sharing his love with her every day – because she doesn’t notice it! When I notice God’s love for me, when I see His goodness, when I pay attention, it makes all the difference in my day. I pay attention for my own sake.

Thankfully, God doesn’t just use one method of communicating His love to us, but shows us in hundreds, if not thousands, of ways. Start out with His Word – He gave us the Scriptures that are filled with His messages of love for us. The number of pages and words vary depending on translation, but it’s the longest love-letter I’ve ever seen.

He uses His creation to share that love with us. I’m not poetic so I can’t begin to describe the mountains or the ocean or a sunset. And words fall short regardless – you have to see it to know the One who made it loves you.

He uses other people too. We share love with each other only because of His love for us. It is in His love for His people that we are even able to love one another. We take the love poured into our hearts and pour it into those around us.

That is how good our God is – he won’t leave us alone. He gives and shares His blessing abundantly. And when I pay attention, it makes me smile.

I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;
you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.

Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.

I have to smile because today, things lined up again with my time in Scripture. I recently made a new commitment to read through the Bible in a year, using YouVersion’s ESV Study Bible 1-year plan. And this morning, part of my reading was from Luke 6:17-49. I’ve been trying to stick with the New Testament in order for my joy verses, and the next one on the list is Luke 6:23, right in the middle of today’s reading! I did add verse 22 for context.

I am very aware that my on-again, off-again bouts of depression have nothing to do with the misery experienced by the believers Jesus is speaking to in these verses. To date, I don’t believe I have experienced much in the way of persecution for the sake of my faith. But I am aware of it happening throughout the world, and I see a lot of commentary on it through social media. There are a whole lot of folks who are fearing the loss of our religious freedoms in this country, for one reason or another (I choose not to enter those debates). They will argue their points based on the constitution and that’s fine. I also hear and read a lot of arguments based on faith, that we should be able to exercise our faith and have the freedom to do so.

I hope that continues for us in this country, but I’m also increasingly aware that religious freedom, and specifically, Christian freedom, is not a guaranteed thing. I don’t remember anywhere in Scripture reading “You will be beloved in this world because of Christ.” Nope, the closest thing I can think of is the community of believers at the end of Acts 2 “having favor with all the people” (v47). But just two chapters later Peter and John are dragged in front of the leadership of Jerusalem to account for their “crimes.”

What we are promised in Scripture, time and again, is that we will be blessed when (not if) we face persecution because of our faith. Here in Luke, Jesus tells us to rejoice and leap for joy when it happens. Excuse me, what? How can I be joyful when my faith, the center of my being, is being called into question and I am being treated as though I am evil? Because great is my reward in heaven.

One of the biggest lessons for me out of all of the hardships we have lived through is the clear knowledge that this world is NOT my home. I can be comfortable here (though I’m not promised comfort), and I have plenty to do while I’m here, but if my number one priority is enjoying every moment of this life, I’ve missed something. I already know what part of my heavenly reward looks like – the faces of my children. But they are such a small part of that great reward! Meanwhile, I have a calling while I’m in this world, and that calling does not guarantee that my life will be easy or comfortable. It comes with an almost sure promise of being hated by the world.

So while I’m here, I am going to continue to walk the fine line of speaking the truth, in love, and doing my best to show Christ to the world as I live out my faith each day. Lord, help me to rejoice!

“Hear the word of the Lord, O nations,
and declare it in the coastlands far away;
say, ‘He who scattered Israel will gather him,
and will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock.’
For the Lord has ransomed Jacob
and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him.
They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion,
and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord,
over the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and over the young of the flock and the herd;
their life shall be like a watered garden,
and they shall languish no more.
Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance,
and the young men and the old shall be merry.
I will turn their mourning into joy;
I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:10-13 is such a beautiful passage. God promises to restore his people from the places to which they were scattered, and the response of the people, as Jeremiah could foresee, would be celebration: singing, dancing, joy, comfort. This is a party, people! God, the giver of all good things, has done and is doing and will do good things for His people. And I am one of them. So are you (cue “Father Abraham”).

God continually turns my mourning into joy. Just today I had someone share that they have been praying for me, someone who is a stranger to me but when she heard my name, she knew who I was. And she mentioned my daughter by name! That is powerful, a testimony to the love of God. My daughter is not forgotten, and even now her story is being used by God to draw others to Him. How many people have spent extra time in prayer because of her, because of us? That is mourning turned to joy.

That being said, I still have my daily struggles. I am working on developing some routines and rhythms in my life each week, each day. Certain things are working well – I’ve got a bedtime routine that really works for me, and while I don’t always go to bed at the same time, I do the same things each night (take meds, brush teeth, take out contacts, wash face). Travis and I recently added some prayer time together before bed as well.

The struggles I have are more with making and keeping the commitment to work out. It’s really easy for me to plan ahead and say, “I’m going to exercise tomorrow morning” or pack my bag with workout clothes when I go to work and say, “I will work out this afternoon.” Then when the time comes, I just don’t want to do it. I know that I feel better when I go, but there are always reasons and excuses – driving time, needing to shower after, feeling yucky after lunch, needing to get more work done in the office, sleeping in too late… you name it, I’ve made the excuse.

The thing is, I know exercise is good for me, in theory. I also know that I want to lose a little weight. I have tried it all:

Health clubs of various types: I hate the time it takes to get there and come home. And then there’s the need to shower, which means either dealing with nasty gross public showers, or, like I have now, no shower available. So that means fitting in time to go home again.

Walking/running/in neighborhood activities: These are good in theory, because they are instant. I prefer to do this with someone than alone, making this a challenge to sync my schedule with somebody else.

Workouts in my home: Sad, sorry failure. I don’t want to have to re-arrange our living room to do a video-based workout, and I often can’t figure out what to do without one.

In the end, I find myself being frustrated at my lack of motivation and the money going out of our account each month for dues to a place I’m not using. I’ve never been much for exercise anyway, and while I know it’s good for me I’d almost rather find ways of fitting activity into my lifestyle than to somehow add another thing I have to do. On to Psalm 28:7 -

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults [leaps for joy],
and with my song I give thanks to him.

In the end, I know that most of my issues are my own, playing a comparison game to others who seem to have this “healthy lifestyle” thing figured out. I know God is leading me in all kinds of changes, and being physically healthy is part of that. Praise Him that I don’t have to rely on my own strength! Please keep praying for me, because I am keeping my eyes on the Source of my joy in the midst of this current struggle.