It’s funny, I have a few blogs I check in with on a regular basis. Some are highly personal, others are very ministry-oriented. I don’t really get into searching out blogs yet, though I may over time as I see links from other people’s blogs. But who has that much time in the day? I am still working on figuring out my “voice” for this one. I’m not sure if I want it to be purely ministry-related, where I put a link on the church website and invite members to read it. At the same time, I don’t know that I want to focus just on personal stuff, because my life is just not that interesting. The personal ones I read are from people with kids, so of course they always have some interesting story, either related to making lemonade or losing teeth. Me, I write about buying a mattress and it makes me want to sleep!

This is the ongoing dilemma of my life, too. Where do I focus my time? Do I spend my days around church-related activities, or do I focus on home? And to be honest, what is it that I do with my time that makes a difference? I go in to work and do some prep for ministry and then groan over the state of my office, mostly a mess of papers. Then I go home and do laundry or cook, but none of these things feel like life to me. I get excited about teaching the faith, which I do mostly on Sundays or in brief conversations throughout the week. And I am always happy when my house is nice for my husband to come home to it, though unlike most wives I spend the bulk of my day next to him anyway.

All of this goes to the subject of vocation, of Christian calling. I am what God is making me to be. What I do is important, even if it feels mundane, because it is the task God has set for me to do today. This is a topic I have spent the greater part of my adult life wrestling with. I read books on the subject by the truckload, I wrote my master’s thesis on it, and I pray about it constantly. I have a strong desire to feel purpose in my actions (and no, I haven’t been able to finish The Purpose Driven Life). So that is my struggle with blogging, to come full-circle in this post. I want to know that my writing is not pointless babbling sent out into the void. Heck, I want to know that about my life, too.