I wish I was a more talented musician. For whatever reason, instrumental music has never come easily to me. I can semi-fake it on the piano, and that’s about it. I never got past playing a few basic chords on the guitar, all of which I’ve forgotten in the last twelve years. I love to sing, but sometimes it would be nice to also play an instrument, especially when it comes to leading music at church. I’ve started to sing with the praise team at our new church, something I really missed doing. But I wish I had more ability to lead them forward. Unfortunately, I struggle with putting together set lists, finding flow between tunes, and matching up more than the words in the songs to the theme of the day. I find myself wishing that I could just sit down at the piano and play and sing to teach a new song, or write lyrics or music. But I’m not gifted in those areas. It’s difficult for me to admit that I have limitations. I find playing music to be enjoyable when I get the notes right, and frustrating when I don’t. I get flustered easily when I play in front of people. I can sight read music when singing along with someone else, picking up a tune quickly, which I guess is a good thing, but that makes me more of a follower than a leader. I find so much joy when I sing, so I know I need to be content with the gifts God has given to me. But oh, to be able to play and sing at the same time!
Please God, help me to be grateful for what I have instead of longing for what I don’t, be it material possessions or spiritual gifts. Use me as your vessel in the way you want, not the way I want to be used.