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As I have delved into my new routine, getting used to the whole not-working thing, I’m starting to figure out that the best thing for me to do is focus on the house in the morning and my professional-ish stuff in the afternoons.  That includes preparing for a Bible study I will be teaching this fall, practicing piano, blogging, and other writing activities.  I think it will be good for me.  I keep thinking I should maybe look for a job, but I don’t really want to.  Then instead of being in charge of my time, I’m at the mercy of my employer.

Thank you to everybody who left comments about yesterday’s post.  I think I will at least apply, put my hat into the ring and see if my philosophy of worship leadership is what our congregation is looking for.  At least I know I’m available for it – being the wife of the senior pastor means I’m almost always at church services!  And I will work on my personal self-confidence issues.  Just because someone else disagrees with how I want to run things doesn’t mean I have to bow to their preferences.  That’s what my biggest problem was when I was leading education at our last church.  I got intimidated by a couple of people who had other opinions and I gave way to them.  Once I did that, my leadership was done.  I couldn’t accomplish anything because I was undermined at every turn, not in vindictive ways, but the people who had other ideas would speak up and I would give in.  It’s a lot easier to go in with the knowledge that you have clearance to do what you think is best.  I didn’t feel that way at our last church.  I felt more like I was being paid to supplement my husband’s salary and pick up a few tasks that no one wanted to volunteer for.

I guess I’d better find out what’s involved to apply for the position.  I don’t exactly have a music resume.  That’s one of those self-confidence things I’m nervous about, because my musical skills are sub-par.  Well, I know I can sing, but I don’t have credentials.  Makes for a pathetic resume.

Not that it’s stopped me before.  I got my first full-time job with just a bachelor’s degree and little work experience under my belt, and was offered a secretarial job later on even though my background was in church ministry.  And I guess my background and willingness to teach does stand for something.  If the church wants me to lead, I can do it.  If they don’t, that’s their choice, and I will be fine with it.

Isn’t it funny how often I keep coming back to the topic of vocation?