Sooo much has changed in our lives – we are sleep deprived, as I understand all new parents are. I am healing slowly from having a c-section. Our house has been a disaster because who has the time or energy to do anything beyond feeding the baby and ourselves and getting sleep in one to two hour increments? But it’s all worth it. I know that eventually we’ll find some equilibrium, and as our daughter grows stronger we will be able to take her out to church, stores, whatever. Meanwhile because she’s a preemie, we keep her home.

I spent a total of five weeks + two days in the hospital. The last week was after she was born. Here’s the amazing part – despite the fact that Samantha was born at 34 weeks (I still suspect it was more like 35 weeks, that my due date was off), she has been in fantastic health. We had a bout with jaundice but she’s doing fine now. Eating has been a bit of a struggle, but we are learning together. After a day in the NICU, Samantha was transferred to their step-down unit. She was born on a Thursday, and on the following Tuesday I learned that I was being discharge. That was my first hormonal melt-down, crying out of worry that I would be leaving my daughter at the hospital when I went home. But then that night, we got to have her in our room, outside of the NICU (this hospital doesn’t have a nursery but has the babies who are healthy stay in the room with the parents). The next day Samantha was released, and we all got to go home together! I never believed that would happen.

My blood pressure is better, still higher than the average person but stable. I’m on a new med which seems to help with it. In the meantime, Travis has been an amazing dad and husband, taking on most diaper changes post-feeding so I can pump (to keep my supply up) and running errands, doing laundry, and keeping me fed. I’ve been struggling with those “baby blues” but from what I read it’s normal and should calm down eventually. It’s overwhelming going without sleep and caring for a tiny human being who is completely dependent on us for her survival. And I’ve never spent much time around babies so I’m learning every day. But we are blessed beyond measure with this little girl, and I can’t imagine life without her.

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