I’m in the midst of feeling rather overwhelmed in my job right now. We’re less than two weeks from Rally Day (beginning of the new Sunday school year) and I feel pretty unsettled about a lot of it. And I know that a big reason why is how unsettled my life feels. I think it’s been hard to find a sense of balance for a while now. I’ve tried to put a finger on when it all began, and truth be told I think it was when we left New York. Huh, it’s actually been pretty much since I was officially certified to be a DCE (but I’m not rostered. If you need me to explain the distinction, I will, just let me know). That was back in the fall of 2008. We took this extra-long car trip from New York through Wisconsin to Minnesota for my final interview/certification. I finished that and we drove out to see my sister and her family in South Dakota. Stayed with them for a brief vacation, then traveled the long journey back to New York.
Shortly after that, my husband interviewed with a church in Ohio. When we went for the in-person interview, we knew God was leading us there. But the process was a little slower and the call actually didn’t come until mid-November. By that point we felt that we had to stay put through Christmas for the sake of the New York church. Then we moved. Just about the time we started to feel settled about the fall of 2009, things fell apart in Ohio (look back through the blog archives in 2009-2010 though the details are mostly confidential). We spent the rest of that winter in a holding pattern and finally were led to Texas in the spring of 2010. We moved, got settled, and I immediately started working for our school that summer. End of summer came and my sister had broken her pelvis, so I went up north to help with her kids. While there, I found out I was pregnant. Came home, and a month or two later Mark (my brother-in-law) came down to get treatment at the medical center. I started working at the church. Then my sister and her kids followed, and they all lived with us until January.
One month after they got into their own place, I ended up in the hospital on bedrest. Then Samantha was born, we had her home and healthy for a few short weeks, and she got sick. Now it’s only been a little over a month since she died, and I am so out of sorts in so many ways. No wonder.
And how could I have guessed that our journey would ever land us here? I have a black dress hanging in my closet that I wore to the funeral. I actually bought it off a clearance rack in Ohio thinking I might wear it at Christmas. This was in the fall of 2009. If someone had told me that day that the first time I would wear the dress would be in Texas for my daughter’s funeral, I would have shaken my head and told them they were crazy. Yet that is what happened. We don’t see where the path leads, and I think that’s a good thing. It just makes it hard to be motivated to plan much when you know that your plan is really Plan B.
Amy M said:
You guys have been through SO MUCH in the past couple of years (as if I needed to tell you that!). Praying for incredible grace and peace … to eventually find your way back to “settled” in your spirit. May peace wash over you even as you walk through these difficult days.
Jim Riddle said:
Well, Stephanie, you know I always say not to second guess the Creator of the Universe. He has really neat stuff in store for all of us. He loves Samantha and saw to it that she was with Him right away, thanks to you guys baptizing her. There is no doubt that you and Travis are serving Him in everything that you do and listening to His still, small voice as far as where to go and what to do.
Oh, yeah, I pray for blessings and peace and all of those things. But, I have learned for me the best thing to pray for is to discern what He is asking me to do. I can’t always figure out what He is saying, but I know He is definite, and I know He is definite with and for you guys, too. So, fear not, as the angels say – Sunday School will be a breeze because you have the same Holy Spirit working in and through you that Jesus had. Remember that. I will keep praying discernment,guidance and continuing formation for you guys, too.
Miriran Maas said:
Life can be overwhelming and for the two of you overwhelming has been a fact of life for a long time. I used to pray for the Good Lord to give me a clue as to what was happening in my life. Since that didn’t work I now ask the Good Lord to help me see the clues He is sending. I have periodically stopped doing my daily devotions when times are hard and then when I get back to them I realize how much they have been missing in my life. Hard has once agian come back into my life. I stopped to see one of my volunteers one day last week, (she has becone a good friend and is a very christian lady also) and was telling her my tale of woe and she said “I have the right thing for you” and she hands me a book titled “When Life is Hard” by James McDonald. She just had this book laying on her table, she had no idea I would be coming that day, she had no idea of what I was going to say and yet, here she has the right book on her table to help me thru these days. I believe that the Good Lord put those events in motion and I am truly grateful for His foresight. My conflict is no where close to what you have been thru these last years and I don’t presume to know how you deal with your trials. For me, when I get back on the right path, the path to God’s Word and now this new study from my friend, my life is turning back to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It is my prayer that you will soon see that light also. Love to All!!
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