I’m guessing most folks who grieve find that being busy helps somewhat with the process. Or at least masks the pain for a while. I haven’t written in a while because I’ve just been crazy busy. Christmas happened, and then once that was over I had to hit the ground running. Schools in our town started back on January 2nd, and the 4th I had a training for Sunday school (we’ve started a brand-new curriculum). Then I left early in the morning on the 5th for a youth ministry symposium in California, returning late the night of the 7th. I spent all of last week running around like crazy prepping for our new Sunday school launch that was last weekend. And here we have come to today.
One of the things I took a bit of time to accomplish today was to register a domain name for my blog. Sadly, bloomingjoy.com is already owned by a florist. So I went with blooming-joy.com. I hope it’s not too confusing for everyone. I wish I would have jumped on this task a year ago. I know there wasn’t anyone using my preferred name at that time. Oh well, that’s life.
I have so much to fill everyone in on – Christmas, my trip, the things I am learning. Let me just leave you with this piece…
While in California I had the opportunity to talk with someone about their adoption story. It’s not my story to tell, so I’m not going to share it here, but what I learned from it is this – no matter how God makes us parents (through childbirth or adoption), He is in control of the details. I’ve always had this assumption that heading down the adoption road would mean taking matters into my own hands and trying to control everything, while still ending up disappointed in the end. I think my views of it are similar to how I felt about going to the fertility clinic years ago. But the truth is, God can work through extraodinary circumstances to create families.
I’m not saying that I’m ready to adopt a child or even that we ever will. But I learned a valuable lesson in that brief conversation, one that I will carry with me for a long time. Parenthood isn’t something that we seek or attain by ourselves. It is something given by God. And I AM a parent, even if my children are no longer in this world. I just am not sure how to be one in my own unique circumstances, but I am slowly learning day by day.