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Normally when I find two verses in a passage that seem to fit together, I share the entire passage, including the verses in between. Today’s doesn’t work that way, because that is the nature of the book of Proverbs. Most of this book is a series of one-off pieces of wisdom. Sometimes they tie together, and sometimes they are a list of things to either do or not do. These come from Proverbs chapter 14. First verse 10:

The heart knows its own bitterness,
and no stranger shares its joy.

And then verse 13:

Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and the end of joy may be grief.

These two verses could describe 90% of what goes on for me emotionally on any given day. The first seems to cover all my introverted nature. I don’t choose to share what’s on my heart very easily, and it certainly is not something I share with strangers. Moreover, I find it easier to share my innermost thoughts in writing than I do out loud. There is something scary about speaking aloud for me that I don’t find in writing my thoughts.

The second verse is my life of the last two and a half years. I move back and forth between joy and grief so easily. I can one moment be laughing and the next, wanting to cry. Pure joy is rare, and is often followed by deep sorrow. It’s secondhand to those of us who have buried children. From what I’ve observed, those who have lost a spouse experience it also, as well as perhaps those who have lost parents (though refer to verse 10 above for how I could be wrong about this since I have not experienced either loss).

Some days are easier than others. Lately grief has been inserting itself into my life more frequently, and it makes writing this blog a lot harder. Thanks for sticking with me through this.

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