I follow a few blogs (I’m not sure of the exact number, currently). Some are friends, family, and colleagues. Some are ones I randomly happened on through other blogs or through surfing the web. One of the ones I follow is called Stuff Christians Like, which is funny and sometimes serious. Today’s post is brilliant. I will be thinking about that one for a while, because as a pastor’s wife, I often feel like I can’t be completely open at church. Sometimes it’s a sin thing, sometimes it’s a pain thing. The Casting Crowns song “Stained Glass Masquerade” fits my feelings when I’m in that place. Thankfully it’s not often that I feel that way at church, or I’d never be able to cope.
But for instance, last Sunday as 10 fifth graders went forward with their families, I was overwhelmed by sorrow. I used to teach first communion at our last church, and it made me miss it and the kids so much that I wanted to cry. I suppose I could have cried and people would have assumed it was with joy for the kids receiving the Lord’s Supper for the first time, but the truth is I was feeling the heartbreak of missing our previous church family.
Not that I regret moving for one minute. I know God led us here, even when things are stressful. There are just days when I wish I wasn’t married to the pastor (honey, I don’t mean not married to you!) so that I could scoot out and have a good cry without everyone wondering what I’m doing.