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I have a lot of anxiety about money.  I’m still digging into where this comes from, but it’s there.  And it’s enough that I tend to avoid things of money.  For instance, right now I’m avoiding doing our taxes.  Some of that is fear of doing them wrong – we’ve always had accountants do it in the past, but we can’t really afford the expense this year.  Some of it is fear of what we might owe.  Well, we’ve never technically owed on our taxes, but I’m scared that we will.  So I am avoiding doing them.  But I know I need to.  I guess the fact that it’s still February makes it easier to avoid them.  After all, when we’ve done it with an accountant it’s often been the first week of April.  But at the same time, I know that information is more powerful than ignorance, and knowing how much we owe (or, God-willing, are getting back) will be easier to deal with farther in advance of April 15.

I think the same is true of writing for me.  I so want to be a “real” writer, yet I don’t work on it every day.  And then I wonder why I don’t have more readers for my blog.  That and I have such a lack of focus.  Look at the past few entries, and you’ll see what I mean.  But I’m trying to at least get in the habit of blogging daily.  I think that’s the best way to start, and then later on I can work on the focus issues.  Oh, to be disciplined and not avoid the things I know are good for me…

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