Spent some more time today playing with the look of the blog. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to experiment with it in a way that allows me to check everything out before making public changes. This is  the limitation I have being rather inexperienced with web-related stuff. And I don’t find WordPress to be nearly as user-friendly as most software programs. Maybe it’s just me. I am open to suggestions, if you have them, or helpful advice. Meanwhile, I continue to be living life as it comes.

I haven’t written much this week just because I haven’t had the opportunity. I don’t always get the computer out at home and I never write on my phone if I can help it. Typing with ten fingers is so much more efficient and easy for me than typing with two. One of the biggest changes for me is that I went to the doctor yesterday. It was my three-month follow-up on my blood pressure medicine change. Doesn’t seem possible that it’s been three months, since the last time I went in we still had Samantha with us. What a long year it has been! Anyway, Travis told me that for his birthday this week, he wanted me to talk to the doctor about how I’m having so much trouble sleeping and just overall struggling with borderline (if not full-blown) depression in the wake of our loss. I’m glad I did. The doctor told me that everything I’m going through is normal and that he’d be more worried if I didn’t feel this way. And he prescribed an anti-depressant.

I went back and forth as to whether I should post that. I find myself thinking about the people who I know in “real life” who read this blog and may not be in favor of it. Or the people who I don’t know who may come at me with their Tom Cruise-inspired dogma of why these kinds of drugs are just plain bad. But the truth is, this is my choice and I haven’t made a secret of my life in this blog up to this point, so why start now? And if I’m starting to feel better (who knows, I’ve only taken one pill at this point) I want to be able to pinpoint how medicine has helped me. Obviously I have no problem with taking a pill to control my blood pressure. What’s wrong with taking one to help control some emotional swings? I hope it does help, because there are days when just getting out of bed is hard. I’m also taking the doctor’s advice and walking outside in the daylight, to get both exercise and some much-needed sun exposure. Thank God I live in Texas, where the sun shines a lot. Now if we could just get some more soaking rains like the night before last!

Keep praying, we still need it.

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