Outside my window – what window? I don’t have one in my office. Outside my door it is quiet, since the church office manager is on kid-taxi duty.
I am thinking that days when our school is closed are waaaaay too quiet. No babies crying, no activity in the other buildings. It’s weird.
I am thankful for God’s grace in the midst of so much sorrow and loss. Losing Samantha could have (even should have) destroyed us, but instead we have been given this gift of strength and a story that must be shared, that Jesus loves each child and holds us close in the midst of our pain.
I am wearing a purple t-shirt, khaki capris, and my favorite shoes – black lace flats that I get complimented on regularly.
I am remembering that we have a Run for God Bible study tonight.
I am going back to my parents’ house later to pack up our stuff. The A/C went out over the weekend and was fixed yesterday, so we’ve been staying at their house. Time to head back home and get settled in again.
I am currently reading Pathway to Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton, The Complete Wizard of Oz Collection by L. Frank Baum, and multiple blogs every day, including Bethany Actually‘s, who I stole this structure from!
I am hoping to get caught up at home tomorrow and Saturday, which will be challenging since there’s also a wedding and rehearsal in the mix at our church.
On my mind: Always Samantha. Some days it’s happy memories, others it’s the sadness over how much we’ve lost. She was such a gift, and I am so thankful for every second we got to spend with her.
Noticing that the some of the stick-on gerber daisies that I used to decorate my office wall are starting to peel off. Grrrr.
In the kitchen at home is a mountain of (clean) dishes to be put away. We spent last Saturday baking and cleaned up everything, and then Sunday morning the A/C quit working while we were at church. So the dishes that were air drying overnight have been sitting there for almost a week now, but it was way too hot to be in our house for very long this week. We only went in to grab the clothes we needed each day, then left.
Around the house is a funny smell, kind of like nail polish remover. Apparently it’s something to do with the newly installed system, and I hope the odor clears out soon.
One of my favorite things: doodling with a combo of Uniball vision fine-tip pens and colored pencils. I’m not much of an artist but I find the process of drawing shapes and coloring them in to be very soothing, and it’s become a way of praying for me.
bethany actually said:
Ha! I stole it from another blogger originally. 🙂 That’s what the internet is for.
Doodling – not just for kids any more. My art therapist daughter, I’m sure, would tell you so, by the way!
Never let go of Samantha; but, DO keep working, like this, to surround her and your memories with the rest of your life. She is but a part, albeit a big part, but nonetheless a part. Failing to keep building around her memory means failing to grow. Will you be mindlessly doodling or constructively sketching?
Probably both although I pray for productive to keep popping in and eventually to overreach sorrow.
Miriran Maas said:
Praying for yourself is always important because we usually forget to pray for ourselves. I have not recieved a box of things for your quilt so I assume it has been to difficult to gather them together. The offer still stands, don’t worry about a time frame. When ever you are ready I will be happy to do it in your time frame.
The Good Lord often strengthens us thru difficult trials. Unfortunately to many don’t allow His help along the way & then don;t grow with the sorrow. That is really esay to say but so difficult to accomplish. Take Care Love to all!!