I’ve been wanting to write a book for… well probably close to most of my life. I’ve always been a reader, and writing was a dream from an early age. I wrote horrible stories as a kid, and often played with my toys by narrating their activities – up until I played at a friend’s house and she looked at me like I was nuts. That’s when I learned that not everyone does that.
I still narrate my own life in my head from time to time. It’s just how I’m wired. It’s why blogging isn’t just a habit that I want to follow. I really need to do it to get the words out of my head! To this day, the most consistent writing I have done was documenting our journey with Samantha. So I can’t use the excuse that I’m too busy or other things are more important. During that time, I was the BUSIEST I’ve ever been, doing the MOST IMPORTANT work of my life.
One of my goals for this year is to finally write my book. I know what the book is – our journey with our daughter. This week I spent a few hours copying and pasting the entire length of our CaringBridge entries into a Word document. I’ve also started to add in the blog entries from this site, putting them into the chronology in between the CaringBridge entries. And while I have a loooooong way to go on the second set, I’ve already realized that I have a book. It just needs to be connected together, given a framework. The document is already over a hundred pages long, and that’s just the medical quick posts from me, my sister, and my husband. Add in the lengthy emotional musings from my blog, and it’s a book!
It’s not easy work. I haven’t started digging into much of the actual words because to copy and paste, I need to see. And sight through tears isn’t easy. So I try not to read what I’m copying as I work. Once I put everything together, I will read through it all in order. Then I will read it again, slowly, and take notes for the areas I need to fill in. I will also do some minor edits (like removing address/phone information that was shared for cards and assistance – most of these have changed in the last six years).
From that point, I will figure out how the book will be put together and start writing the in-between parts. This process actually feels a lot easier than I thought it would be! I’m kind of excited, although also dreading going back down the most painful path of my life.
Stephanie, I’m so glad that God is leading you to do this. While it will be a journey to get there, I pray the writing of this book will also provide you and Travis much healing as bereaved parents. And that God would use it as He sees fit to be a blessing to others of your witness of courage and growth through the pain. Much love and prayers!
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