I’ve been wanting to write a book for… well probably close to most of my life. I’ve always been a reader, and writing was a dream from an early age. I wrote horrible stories as a kid, and often played with my toys by narrating their activities – up until I played at a friend’s house and she looked at me like I was nuts. That’s when I learned that not everyone does that.

I still narrate my own life in my head from time to time. It’s just how I’m wired. It’s why blogging isn’t just a habit that I want to follow. I really need to do it to get the words out of my head! To this day, the most consistent writing I have done was documenting our journey with Samantha. So I can’t use the excuse that I’m too busy or other things are more important. During that time, I was the BUSIEST I’ve ever been, doing the MOST IMPORTANT work of my life.

One of my goals for this year is to finally write my book. I know what the book is – our journey with our daughter. This week I spent a few hours copying and pasting the entire length of our CaringBridge entries into a Word document. I’ve also started to add in the blog entries from this site, putting them into the chronology in between the CaringBridge entries. And while I have a loooooong way to go on the second set, I’ve already realized that I have a book. It just needs to be connected together, given a framework. The document is already over a hundred pages long, and that’s just the medical quick posts from me, my sister, and my husband. Add in the lengthy emotional musings from my blog, and it’s a book!

It’s not easy work. I haven’t started digging into much of the actual words because to copy and paste, I need to see. And sight through tears isn’t easy. So I try not to read what I’m copying as I work. Once I put everything together, I will read through it all in order. Then I will read it again, slowly, and take notes for the areas I need to fill in. I will also do some minor edits (like removing address/phone information that was shared for cards and assistance – most of these have changed in the last six years).

From that point, I will figure out how the book will be put together and start writing the in-between parts. This process actually feels a lot easier than I thought it would be! I’m kind of excited, although also dreading going back down the most painful path of my life.